10 things that could happen on your way to work
by Ayadin
Summary: 10 WORST Things...but the title is pretty much self explanatory. Just picture Cloud trying to write one of these for school. XD


**Title: **Ten Worst Things That Could Happen On Your Way To Work.

"Cloud!" Denzel yelled up the stairs. The man in question was sitting quietly at his office desk planning out routes for the next day's deliveries when the ten year old burst through the door.

"Is something wrong?" Cloud asked calmly. Denzel shook his head and walked over to the desk. He hung his head somewhat low, a sign of the shyness he hasn't completely grown out of.

"Um, the teacher gave us homework today, and I was wondering if you could help."

Cloud flashed a small smile and offered Denzel a chair by him. The boy perked up and slid into the chair, putting a piece of paper onto the cluttered desk.

"Okay, the teacher wanted everyone to write a list of 10 worst things that could happen on your way to work or school," Denzel began. The spiky haired delivery boy nodded, already beginning to think of a few things. "She wanted two lists from each person."

"One for school and one for work?" Cloud offered. Denzel scrunched up his face a little and rubbed the back of his neck; a trait he'd learned from Cloud.

"Yeah, kinda. She wanted us to do the one about school, and get our fathers to do the one about work. Marlene's getting Barrett to drop by with a list tomorrow," he explained. Shyness took over, and he froze. Cloud looked at him with an understanding, and a growing sense of pride that he'd want _him_ to act the part of _father_ for something.

"You want me to do the one for work?"

Denzel lightened up and nodded his head vigorously. A smile came from the blonde haired man as he ushered the boy off to the kitchen down the stairs where Tifa had food waiting.

Cloud Strife decided that he'd wait for a while before eating. It wasn't that he didn't feel like eating with his family, it was just that he'd made a delivery to Elmyra earlier and she'd insisted on stuffing his face full of food. So, to pass time until he could eat again—only because he would hate to make Tifa feel like a bad cook—he decided to work on the 'homework' Denzel asked for him to do.

'Hmmm,' his mind started racing. 'The 10 Worst Things That Could Happen On Your Way To Work?'

He figured they didn't need to be in any particular order, so he numbered the blank page Denzel gave him and began to write.

1) Being attacked by a psychotic chocobo that thinks you're its mate.

Cloud cringed at the memory. It was one of his earlier deliveries to the Chocobo Ranch. He still had a scar where it had tried to 'punish' him for running away.

2) Being attacked by two silver haired Sephiroth clones while the third stood by and watched.

'Not one of my more pleasant memories.'

He began working his way through the list pretty easily. It seemed that the worst things that _could _happen _do_ happen to him. Sighing, he shook his head and chuckled darkly. 'My life's one large helping of sunshine isn't it.'

Finally, he'd managed to make it down to the last two. There was no doubt in his mind if he didn't hurry Tifa would be up the stairs any minute asking if he was alright, or yelling at him for not eating her food. 'Or crying her eyes out because she thinks I'm going to leave again because I don't like her cooking and she's getting too fat,' he thought bitterly.

'I have a hunch I'm going to be dead before the baby even comes.'

This thought gave him an idea.

9) Getting a phone call from your wife saying she's pregnant while you are in the middle of a stampede of angry chocobos.

Another mishap at the Chocobo Ranch. Apparently his little buddy from before gained followers, and they were pretty angry to see Cloud come back.

The ranch owners just sat back and laughed while the delivery boy tried to outrun them while answering his phone. He could've not answered it, but a part of him feared that not answering it would be worse than being run over by chocobos.

Cloud Strife eyed the piece of paper. A lot of them had to do with his days in AVALANCHE and the whole Meteor fiasco. A few were from the Geostigma problem, and two were from deliveries to that stupid ranch. He rubbed his forehead and, for lack of a better thought, put down the only thing he could think of for ten.

_The Next Day at School_

"Denzel, come up to my desk please," the teacher called politely. Denzel was polite and did as the teacher told. She had looked a little worried when he had handed in his "father's" share of the homework.

"Yes Ma'am?"

"Did you do this work?" she asked, holding up Cloud's sheet. Denzel shook his head. The teacher groaned in frustration and pulled Denzel closer to her. "Sweetie, if you didn't have anyone to help you with your homework here, you should've told me. I'm pretty sure Mr. Strife would've helped if you asked him."

"Huh? He did help."

"Denzel, I'm pretty sure Mr. Strife wouldn't have written the things on this list. They're preposterous things that would never happen! Now, I want you to take this home and show Mr. Strife what you did. No, buts young man," the teacher was firm when she spoke. She handed Denzel back the paper and sent him to his desk.

'That boy has some imagination,' she giggled. 'Number Ten: having your friend impaled with a six foot sword by a madman. The things these kids come up with nowadays.'


End file.
